I'm gonna have a badass scar
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
