Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
