so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
