I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
