his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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