you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
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