I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
