So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize