i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
