weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
