i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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