worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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