Your mouth is God's brothel.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize