i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
