I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
What drink are we having for lunch?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
