I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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