did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize