You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
