i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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