I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP