i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
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stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
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He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.