Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
