Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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