If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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