I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
