did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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