Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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