If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
