she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
