Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Randomize
