Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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