why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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