what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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