All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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