how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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