He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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