I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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