i just google imaged poop.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
