How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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