just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
