You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Randomize
