he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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