On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Congratulations! We have a period
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
