Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
