I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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