Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i just google imaged poop.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize