i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
