i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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