With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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