i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
