He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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