This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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