i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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