You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
