Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
