I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
