White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
