yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
