How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
