Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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