Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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