In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me