Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
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sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
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Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?