Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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